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[WIP] fantasy high - the parent trap
title: the parent trap
series: dimension 20
sub-series: fantasy high
characters: the bad kids. their parents
rating: T
warnings: teens being teens, vague spoilers for sophmore year, disregard for canon timeline, gilear's everything
never finished and i don't have enough of a plot to continue on, no matter how high fig's charisma stats are. but!!! spurred on by another rarepair (gilear/gorthalax) i joked that fig could pull off the parent trap by herself. and then this happened. includes nonsense smatterings.
--
“Fabian! Fabian, I need you to disguise yourself as me for the day- geez, get that sword out of my face!”
“Only if you do not open any more door portal things into my bedroom!”
“Okay, okay, cool, yeah. I can do that,” Fig, with the sword tip still at her nose, brushed it aside like a gnat. “But for the record I totally would have gotten a sneak attack on you.”
Fabian rolled his eyes. “You are not The Ball, Fig. And I have a high passive perception.”
“I rolled high on stealth!”
“That’s not now that works-!”
Fabian sighed. Deeply. And made a face that said, “you are my crew and party and my super cool rockstar friend who shreds the electric guitar like no one else, Fig. But I also have much better things to do today.”
Then he sheathed his sword. “You are my crew, and party member, and friend, Fig. But I also have much… better things to do today.”
“Yeeeeesss,” Fig agreed after a long enough pause for Fabian to remember the cool rockstar bit. He didn’t. “But! I need this favor, and it’s just for a few hours.”
“Why on earth do you need me to be you?”
“See cause, I forgot I was supposed to go hang out with Gilear today and Gorthalax is going to take me see one of the nine hells and so-”
“I am not going to one of the nine hells with Gorthalax-”
“You wouldn't!”
“-because I am extremely not going to ‘hang out’ with Gilear.”
“Look, look, I got a plan, Fabian!”
“LALALALALALA-”
“I’m trying to hook up my dad and Gilear so then Gilear won’t be dating your mom!”
Fabian removed his fingers from his ears and spun towards Fig again with the tightness of a ballet dancer.
“Nevermind, I’m in.”
-
Stage lights flighted on with an audible buzz of magic and Fig hit a chord on her bass, causing a deep hum to reverberate through in the collective Bad Kids’ chests.
“I’m hereby staging Operation: Parent Trap.”
Adaine clapped politely at Fig’s use of Prestidigitation.
Kristen counted on her fingers. “But between Gorthalax, Gilear, and Jawbone, isn’t this more of an Operation: Mama Mia?”
“What?” Fig asked.
“What??” Kristen responded, vaguely startled.
“What???” Gorgug chimed in, having arrived last, and then smacked his forehead on one of the real stage lights that had been hung up for storage. “Ow!”
“My mom isn’t a part of this! Plus I think if I tried, then she’d try to sit me down for some big dumb embarassing heart to heart.”
Riz appeared at Fig’s elbow from… somewhere. It was dark as shit in here! Fig flicked on the lights again.
“Didn’t you already try patching things between her and Gorthalax?” Riz asked in that tone he used when he was being a little dick because he knew the answer but was practicing his detective skills to get the culprit to confess.
“Maybe.” Fig said very mysteriously and not quickly and guilty sounding. She fiddled with one of the tuning pegs to show how unconcerned she was.
“Because you diiiiid encourage Gilear to come over and have dinner with my mom-”
“It's gonna work this time, okay?!”
“It will work!” Fabian leapt to his feet, fist clenched and foot on an upturned clothes hamper. Gorgug narrowly rolled high enough save to get out of the way before he got socked in the jaw. “For my mother’s sake and my own!”
“Wait- are we planning to kill someone? I thought you said you wanted to set up Gorthalax and Gilear.”
“We could also do the murder thing-”
“We’re not killing my dad, Fabian!”
-
“This is… a lot of yogurt. Like, a lot, a lot.”
“Yes,” Gilear said, sounding both endlessly miserable of his choices and prideful of his excess. “An insatiable amount, I’m afraid. Figaroth has introduced me to on-crystal shopping where I may… order fanciful and unique flavors.”
“Insatiable sure is the word.”
-
“You’re not going to do another makeover are you?” Gilear asked, already defeated.
-
“I will not gossip about Halleriel, daughter, if that’s what you are insinuating.”
“No! No, of course not. I merely- I just wanted to know how things were going. Generally.”
Unfortunately, Gilear was still a grown elf and had raised Fig from birth. He knew her tells and what weren’t her tells. Gilear’s gaze focused in and Fabian drew upon every lesson of calm and focus to keep from squirming.
“I forget you’re growing up sometimes,” Gilear said softly in the way his mother did sometimes. As all parents did, Fabian supposed. Gilear looked away, back out the window. “I do not see us growing closer… romantically speaking... for she is still in mourning, I respect that, and accept it.”
“Then, uh, why all the visits and-” Fabian bit down on ‘mother’s teasing.’ “Stuff?”
“At the end of the day she is my friend, and I am hers. We bond over our affection and pride for you and young master Fabian, and over… hm.”
“Hm….?”
“There is a raisin in this dessert. How novel.”
Fabian’s eyes narrowed at the sidestep. Gilear pretended to realize the raisin was a fly instead- or, no, no, it really was a fly.
To Gilear Faeth, he only saw Fig put her face in her hands in embarrassment.
-
“Sooooo, can I ask you some things about you and Gilear?”
Gorthalax rubbed at his chin, chuckling thoughtfully. “Only if I can ask you about that little firebird of yours.”
“Sure!” Fig’s voice cracked. “Sure you can, cause there’s nothing I would be embarrassed at all about! I’m an open book these days, and you can ask me anything!”
Okay, maybe so last year she would have been more open to babbling on about her life to Gortholax as a way of catching him up on, well, everything he’d missed out on. But at the time she hadn’t had a girlfriend and she was more conscious of her poor relationships - could they even be called that? - now. That part was mortifying.
And maybe just a normal part of dealing with parents? Fig stuck a pin in it. She’d come back to that later. ….Much later.
-
“Fanthren’dral, guardian of the gates.”
“Gilear.”
The bored sounding polyhedron of refracting light made a gesture. Beside Gilear, the clouds that made up the entryway to Arvandor spun themselves into a beautiful and comfortable looking chair. Gilear took a seat.
“Much obliged,” Gilear took his seat, highly aware of how easily this was becoming routine. “May I ask about the progress of your novel?”
-
Most of their conversations revolved around Figaroth. How proud they were of her.
-
Sandra Lynn opened the door to see Jawbone, Gilear - shit, she still had to sign the divorce papers - and Gortholax - somehow, but barely, maintaining his balance on one of the kitchen chairs. They all looked up at her.
Sandra Lynn stepped backwards over the threshold and closed the door.
-
“Aaaand, yep. Yep, there goes her on Baxter.” Jawbone didn’t sound disappointed, just observant like he was a commentator on backyard wildlife. He chuckled, though it came out as an odd whuffing noise, and slapped a hand to the sill. “She’ll be back in twenty, I’ll bet.”
-
“Adeine. Adeine, Adeine, Addy, Addy, Addy, AddyAddy-”
“Yes, Kristen?”
As fun as it had been to watch Kristen do some weird up and down squatting dance in rhythm to her name, she didn’t want to be rude.
-
“Oh, shucks.”
kristen moment of being fourteen again and saying shucks instead of fuck. a funny haha helio joke but also budding teenage rebellion that was dampened by being a weiird fucking cult.
not for the first time, kristen wondered how her brothers were doing.
-
gorgug and ragh going through their other growth spurts. trans jokes with jawbone.
shaving time with the boys during spring break
-
“Figaroth, my daughter, I am going on a date and I thought you would like to know.”
“Oh- yeah. Yeah? With who?”
Fig’s eyes flicked over her father’s shoulder in search of Hallriel, or maybe even Skolanda.
“That is the part that I… that we wished to discuss with you. Come, have a seat.”
Fig’s finely honed teenage senses - and also a crit insight roll - pinged off like a sonic rocket. Alert! Alert! Embarrassing sit down discussion time!!!
Also a bit of rebellion. That won out enough so that she
series: dimension 20
sub-series: fantasy high
characters: the bad kids. their parents
rating: T
warnings: teens being teens, vague spoilers for sophmore year, disregard for canon timeline, gilear's everything
never finished and i don't have enough of a plot to continue on, no matter how high fig's charisma stats are. but!!! spurred on by another rarepair (gilear/gorthalax) i joked that fig could pull off the parent trap by herself. and then this happened. includes nonsense smatterings.
--
“Fabian! Fabian, I need you to disguise yourself as me for the day- geez, get that sword out of my face!”
“Only if you do not open any more door portal things into my bedroom!”
“Okay, okay, cool, yeah. I can do that,” Fig, with the sword tip still at her nose, brushed it aside like a gnat. “But for the record I totally would have gotten a sneak attack on you.”
Fabian rolled his eyes. “You are not The Ball, Fig. And I have a high passive perception.”
“I rolled high on stealth!”
“That’s not now that works-!”
Fabian sighed. Deeply. And made a face that said, “you are my crew and party and my super cool rockstar friend who shreds the electric guitar like no one else, Fig. But I also have much better things to do today.”
Then he sheathed his sword. “You are my crew, and party member, and friend, Fig. But I also have much… better things to do today.”
“Yeeeeesss,” Fig agreed after a long enough pause for Fabian to remember the cool rockstar bit. He didn’t. “But! I need this favor, and it’s just for a few hours.”
“Why on earth do you need me to be you?”
“See cause, I forgot I was supposed to go hang out with Gilear today and Gorthalax is going to take me see one of the nine hells and so-”
“I am not going to one of the nine hells with Gorthalax-”
“You wouldn't!”
“-because I am extremely not going to ‘hang out’ with Gilear.”
“Look, look, I got a plan, Fabian!”
“LALALALALALA-”
“I’m trying to hook up my dad and Gilear so then Gilear won’t be dating your mom!”
Fabian removed his fingers from his ears and spun towards Fig again with the tightness of a ballet dancer.
“Nevermind, I’m in.”
-
Stage lights flighted on with an audible buzz of magic and Fig hit a chord on her bass, causing a deep hum to reverberate through in the collective Bad Kids’ chests.
“I’m hereby staging Operation: Parent Trap.”
Adaine clapped politely at Fig’s use of Prestidigitation.
Kristen counted on her fingers. “But between Gorthalax, Gilear, and Jawbone, isn’t this more of an Operation: Mama Mia?”
“What?” Fig asked.
“What??” Kristen responded, vaguely startled.
“What???” Gorgug chimed in, having arrived last, and then smacked his forehead on one of the real stage lights that had been hung up for storage. “Ow!”
“My mom isn’t a part of this! Plus I think if I tried, then she’d try to sit me down for some big dumb embarassing heart to heart.”
Riz appeared at Fig’s elbow from… somewhere. It was dark as shit in here! Fig flicked on the lights again.
“Didn’t you already try patching things between her and Gorthalax?” Riz asked in that tone he used when he was being a little dick because he knew the answer but was practicing his detective skills to get the culprit to confess.
“Maybe.” Fig said very mysteriously and not quickly and guilty sounding. She fiddled with one of the tuning pegs to show how unconcerned she was.
“Because you diiiiid encourage Gilear to come over and have dinner with my mom-”
“It's gonna work this time, okay?!”
“It will work!” Fabian leapt to his feet, fist clenched and foot on an upturned clothes hamper. Gorgug narrowly rolled high enough save to get out of the way before he got socked in the jaw. “For my mother’s sake and my own!”
“Wait- are we planning to kill someone? I thought you said you wanted to set up Gorthalax and Gilear.”
“We could also do the murder thing-”
“We’re not killing my dad, Fabian!”
-
“This is… a lot of yogurt. Like, a lot, a lot.”
“Yes,” Gilear said, sounding both endlessly miserable of his choices and prideful of his excess. “An insatiable amount, I’m afraid. Figaroth has introduced me to on-crystal shopping where I may… order fanciful and unique flavors.”
“Insatiable sure is the word.”
-
“You’re not going to do another makeover are you?” Gilear asked, already defeated.
-
“I will not gossip about Halleriel, daughter, if that’s what you are insinuating.”
“No! No, of course not. I merely- I just wanted to know how things were going. Generally.”
Unfortunately, Gilear was still a grown elf and had raised Fig from birth. He knew her tells and what weren’t her tells. Gilear’s gaze focused in and Fabian drew upon every lesson of calm and focus to keep from squirming.
“I forget you’re growing up sometimes,” Gilear said softly in the way his mother did sometimes. As all parents did, Fabian supposed. Gilear looked away, back out the window. “I do not see us growing closer… romantically speaking... for she is still in mourning, I respect that, and accept it.”
“Then, uh, why all the visits and-” Fabian bit down on ‘mother’s teasing.’ “Stuff?”
“At the end of the day she is my friend, and I am hers. We bond over our affection and pride for you and young master Fabian, and over… hm.”
“Hm….?”
“There is a raisin in this dessert. How novel.”
Fabian’s eyes narrowed at the sidestep. Gilear pretended to realize the raisin was a fly instead- or, no, no, it really was a fly.
To Gilear Faeth, he only saw Fig put her face in her hands in embarrassment.
-
“Sooooo, can I ask you some things about you and Gilear?”
Gorthalax rubbed at his chin, chuckling thoughtfully. “Only if I can ask you about that little firebird of yours.”
“Sure!” Fig’s voice cracked. “Sure you can, cause there’s nothing I would be embarrassed at all about! I’m an open book these days, and you can ask me anything!”
Okay, maybe so last year she would have been more open to babbling on about her life to Gortholax as a way of catching him up on, well, everything he’d missed out on. But at the time she hadn’t had a girlfriend and she was more conscious of her poor relationships - could they even be called that? - now. That part was mortifying.
And maybe just a normal part of dealing with parents? Fig stuck a pin in it. She’d come back to that later. ….Much later.
-
“Fanthren’dral, guardian of the gates.”
“Gilear.”
The bored sounding polyhedron of refracting light made a gesture. Beside Gilear, the clouds that made up the entryway to Arvandor spun themselves into a beautiful and comfortable looking chair. Gilear took a seat.
“Much obliged,” Gilear took his seat, highly aware of how easily this was becoming routine. “May I ask about the progress of your novel?”
-
Most of their conversations revolved around Figaroth. How proud they were of her.
-
Sandra Lynn opened the door to see Jawbone, Gilear - shit, she still had to sign the divorce papers - and Gortholax - somehow, but barely, maintaining his balance on one of the kitchen chairs. They all looked up at her.
Sandra Lynn stepped backwards over the threshold and closed the door.
-
“Aaaand, yep. Yep, there goes her on Baxter.” Jawbone didn’t sound disappointed, just observant like he was a commentator on backyard wildlife. He chuckled, though it came out as an odd whuffing noise, and slapped a hand to the sill. “She’ll be back in twenty, I’ll bet.”
-
“Adeine. Adeine, Adeine, Addy, Addy, Addy, AddyAddy-”
“Yes, Kristen?”
As fun as it had been to watch Kristen do some weird up and down squatting dance in rhythm to her name, she didn’t want to be rude.
-
“Oh, shucks.”
kristen moment of being fourteen again and saying shucks instead of fuck. a funny haha helio joke but also budding teenage rebellion that was dampened by being a weiird fucking cult.
not for the first time, kristen wondered how her brothers were doing.
-
gorgug and ragh going through their other growth spurts. trans jokes with jawbone.
shaving time with the boys during spring break
-
“Figaroth, my daughter, I am going on a date and I thought you would like to know.”
“Oh- yeah. Yeah? With who?”
Fig’s eyes flicked over her father’s shoulder in search of Hallriel, or maybe even Skolanda.
“That is the part that I… that we wished to discuss with you. Come, have a seat.”
Fig’s finely honed teenage senses - and also a crit insight roll - pinged off like a sonic rocket. Alert! Alert! Embarrassing sit down discussion time!!!
Also a bit of rebellion. That won out enough so that she